Rage, rage against the dying of the light
Today, I visited an old and dear friend who is dying in a hospice here near Sevenoaks in Kent, England. Richard, only 35 years old, was a boy in a Boy Scout troop (the 1st Bordeaux) that I ran back in South Africa, all of two decades ago. Ten years or so ago, he paid me the greatest compliment that I have ever received, by telling me just what an impact I had on his teenage years.
Now, he is dying.
It is difficult to believe that the person that I saw today is the same as the accomplished rock climber and athlete that Richard was as a teenager. The brain tumour that is killing him has completely paralysed the left side of his body. Morphine and steroids keep his pain at bay and make life tolerable. Yet, despite it all, he shows an indefatigability of spirit that has left me humbled. He is making chess sets. One at a time, each one a project to keep his brain working and to keep him alive for one more day; one more week.
He is not alone. His wife, Gill, was also there today. So, too, was another member of his old scout troop from so many years ago, David, who lives nearby and with whom I am staying this weekend. I had no idea that the "boys from Bordeaux" had kept their friendships so strongly into manhood. Sixty of them are still in regular contact with each other on Facebook. It is not often that one has an experience that makes the world "click" into perspective. I had such an experience today, spending time with Richard. Tomorrow, I head up to London for the Managing Partners' Forum meeting at Grant Thornton on Tuesday, and then a rush to Heathrow to make the 2 PM flight back to Chicago. Life goes on.
As for Richard, I'll look in on him again tomorrow on my way to London and hope that he is still here when I return to England next month. In the meantime, I found myself thinking of one of Dylan Thomas' poems that I have not recalled since I was a schoolboy:
DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
What a beautiful message Rob, thank you.
As the Mum of 2 of your "Boys from Bordeaux", I wonder if you have any idea how much of an impact you had on so many young lives, and how much it is due to your influence that the comradeship is still so strong, and that you are a large part of he reason that David is spending so much time at Richard's side.
David tells me Richard was overjoyed to see you. Thank you for going.
And thank you for your part in making your "Boys from Bordeaux" the fine young men they all are today.
B-P told us "Try to leave this world a little better than you found it" Rob Millard has certainly done that.
Hi Rob
As Richard's Mom I am touched by all the school friends and scouting friends that have given of their time to visit Richard. It astounds me how he never complains about his situation, his days are numbered but he remains cheerful and positive and is always concerned for family and friends. He has bad days when the fantastic staff at the Hospice take extra care of his needs and he has good days when he keeps busy painting or moulding chess pieces. Thank you Rob for you surely have had an influence not only on Richard, Derek, David but on the rest of the Bordeaux Scouts as well. I was privileged to spend six weeks with Richard at the Hospice and those will be memories I'll treasure always. I'm so proud to call him my son.
Hey Rob,
There is not much more I can say about Richard that has not already been said.
Always a great guy, fighting the good fight.
I like these words from "Rodgers & Hammerstein - Carousel"
When you walk through a storm
Keep your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At he end of the storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
These words always help me through the difficult times.
Richard died early this morning, 1 January 2008
Richard has gone home. Requiescat In Pace.